Tomorrow is three years. Has it really been three years without you? I remember the last time i saw you. June 9th, 2007. My birthday. You were doing so well. It was the best i had saw you in a while. You were so positive. You said you were going to beat it. We all thought you would. But then June 12th came. Mom went to the hospital at 12:00a.m. It was really hard on her. After you died everything went AWOL. That's when all the problems started.
I remember the summers most. Jesse and I would come over every Tuesday. We would go for walks, help you in the shop, do a craft, watch tv, nap. We did it all. No matter how much pain you were in you always had a smile on your face. I loved how you always had a Butterfinger Crunch for us. They don't make them anymore.
So much reminds me of you. Sunsets, lighthouses, flowers. Lilies. They're my favorite because of you. You always loved them. They're beautiful.
I miss you very much. I could have used you a lot this year. And this coming summer.
I wish you could see me now. I know you're watching me from Heaven, but i mean in person. I think you would be proud of me. I finally got on Honor Roll. A bunch of times. I know you were always proud of Jesse. I used to wish that i could do something to to make you proud of me. Looking back, i know that you were all along. I remember going with you and nana to see the Stallions and the Soverign Center. I was in third grade i think. Shady Maple always reminds me of you. I think of it as "your place." You were the first to take us there. I remember going to walmart with you and the cashier thought you were me and Jesse's dad. I remember making my light with you. And painting those statues. They're floating around here somewhere.
Mom says i'm a lot like you. I'll pick up a silly toy in a store and she says that it is something that you would buy.
I'm going into this summer with a positive attitude. But i still wonder. Every year something happens. Will the "curse" be broken? I want this to be a good summer, i feel like it will be. I want you to meet Tyler. He's a great guy. He treats me like his little princess. Very few people compare to you, you're caring, sensitive, funny, strong, and the list goes on. I just want one more week with you. I miss you so much. The divorce was/is really hard. If i didn't have Tyler i don't know what i would have done. I wish you were here then, for support. There were times that i went to school crying. Tyler just held me until i calmed down. I went to a basketball game crying. Dad was such a jerk to her. I hate him for it. The divorce put a lot of strain on me and Tyler's relationship. It was early for us. I didn't want to tell him but Dylan made me. Dylan and Tyler. Without them, i don't know where i would be. My support system. Is it bad that i couldn't tell my friends? I didn't want to tell Jordan. She has the "perfect" family. A great father/daughter relationship. Parents that love each other and don't fight. A caring mother. A funny brother. Shhe has the life i want. But i'll never tell her that i'm jealous. I'm not going to give her that satisfaction. That sounds bad. But i can't tell her anything. She doesn't understand. She never dealt with a death or a divorce, or anything. She has the "perfect" family. I wish that my dad was like you. Every guy should be like you. You're more of a man than a lot of guys are. They had to put Shadow down, but i know he is up there with you and toby, and sandy, and uncle scott. Give them all a hug for me. Did you have lunch with Jesus? He'd like you. Do Shadow and Toby get along? Toby was your little buddy. I remember when he died Jesse got the chicken pox. Mom said that was God's plan. He took Toby because he needed him and Jesse got the chicken pox to be with you.
Morgan, George R. - George R. Morgan, 71, Spring Township, died June 12, 2007, at noon in St. Joseph Medical Center, Bern Township.
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